Third Culture Kids – Expatriate Kids

The first time I heard about the third culture kids term was during our posting in Canada. My spouse came home with the book Third Culture Kids: Growing Up Among Worlds written by David C. Pollock and Ruth E. Van Reken.

I couldn't put down the book. There is actually a name for what we are experiencing. We participated in quite a few workshops for expats families before and after postings, but none of them made me feel what I felt after reading the book.

I always had difficulties explaining to family and friends why being an expat, and especially an expat kid is not a picnic. Many of them believe that expats are living a glamorous life, traveling around the world, speaking different languages, etc'. Now I can just give them the book as a present.

Therese Miranda describes her TCK experience extremely well in the following Video

We would love to read your expatriate story. Please do share with us and our visitors

Sociologist Ruth Hill Useem created the term after spending a year on two separate occasions in India with her three children, in the early fifties. While there, she discovered that expats were not living as they would have in their home country neither were they living the lifestyle of those in their host country. Ruth Hill Useem claimed that they had developed a third culture, and she called the children growing up in this way "third culture kids" - children who accompany their parents into another culture.

In the early 1980's the term became more popular. David Pollock used it to build a classic profile of TCK, and he defined it as follows:

“A third culture kid is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside their parents’ culture. The third culture kid builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the third culture kid’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background, other TCKs.”

They come from many backgrounds - Military/Army BRATS, Non-military government like diplomats' kids, Missionary kids, Business kid, intergovernmental agencies, educators, international non-governmental organizations, media, etc.

Some TCK's are moving between countries all their childhood, some have stayed only in one country, others have moved abroad, repatriated, and then relocated overseas again.

There are some characteristics that are common to the majority of TCK's – They understand better other cultures, have eaten different types of food, speak more than one language fluently, and have friends in many places.

However, each child has his own amazing story, and his own way to cope with the challenges; some resent their parents for taking them away from their friends, school, family and country. They refuse to make friends with kids at the host country, and just wait to repatriate. Needless to say that when they eventually come home, it is a different reality than what they hoped and waited for. Years have passed; their friends have changed, even they had changed. And many of them will end up finding new friends.

Others might embrace the adventure, enjoy it, and make lots of friends in the host country. When our son started second grade in Canada, we were amazed to see that he was pretending to sing the Canadian Anthem in the morning with all his class peers. It was his first day at school; he did not speak any English, and obviously did not know the words or lyric of the Canadian anthem.

Repatriating is not as easy as some might think. The hardest thing for TCK'S is saying goodbye to their friends and to a place they used to call home. The world as they knew is gone forever. Only the memories are left, and many TCK's will not see their friends ever again. It is a great feeling of loss, and a big hole in their life.

At the home country, some third culture kids might feel rootless, restless and will have difficult time adjusting to their own culture. On the other hand some just want to stay in one place and settle down. They had enough traveling.

Language can also become an issue - Some TCK's spoke a different language in the host country. While it is a huge benefit, as they become bilingual, it can be quite challenging when coming back home. They are expected to speak fluently in the language of their passport country. But, Many makes grammar mistakes and don't have a rich vocabulary, others might have a strange accent. All this can be very frustrating, and some kids might take advantage and laugh at them.

I have prepared a list of books about what it is like to be an expat kid. Some of the books have helped me a lot.

These books are not just for expats kids. They are extremely helpfull for parents of TCK's

Check them out, and see for yourself.

Do you feel like sharing your story about growing in another country? We would love to read it, and our visitors can learn a lot from your experience.