TCKS Experience

by Elizabeth
(Ottawa, Canada)

I'm glad this site's and this video been found. Other's seem to make light of the TCKS experience, as they disregard that in association with them of their Repat folks.

As we're amid reverse culture shock, our kids were experiencing tremendous culture shock of this land only their profile said, as it did of us, the prevailing assumption 'as if never left', of course we knew this 'n that we didn't.

I've lost count the number of times belittled, humbled by what we in fact didn't know...which, as if that's not enough, why we didn't know as assumed by profile, belittled as well.

Within weeks, we had 'been Here long enough' directed at us as if adapting, adjusting, assimilation would be quick to achieve as if never left, as if our two TCKS grew up Here.

I had a well known in this area Psychologist, angrily yell at me...'Can't be that hard being Here', I got Canadians don't have culture shock in their own country, no such thing as reverse culture shock, cut the 'life changed coming Here' crap.

I've, we've never as a Repat/TCKS family felt as far away from Here, alone when we lived half the planet away. We've been Here fourteen years now and it's still going on within extended family and in part, within this society. RE-integrating hasn't gone well at all.

At least as an Expat, as Immigrants do Here, there are those who've come before to mentor and guide for a friendly and healthy progressive line of adapting and adjusting. More than once, I've wished there were a local group of Repat/TCKS families to be associated with, for when the going gets tough as a soft place to land, as well as to share those seemingly rare yahoo moments of breakthrough. :) Our whole family dynamics changed ending up Here as we did.

I wish extended family understood Here wasn't Home, they were. Once a year, we came Here to water our desert Roots with Home...them. Extended family in particular, in our lives Here have been brutally nasty. Alienation's have grown to fullblown estrangement it's got that heart-wrenchingly difficult.

Thank you for setting this up so us Repat/TCKS can communicate and share. We weren't on an elongated holiday, it's all real. :)