Experiencing Israel Culture shock

How to overcome Israel culture shock as recounted by an American who immigrated to Israel:

Moving to work or to live in a different country can be overwhelming, even somewhat shocking. It can be so shocking; society has termed the experience- culture shock! This phenomenon is somewhat inevitable. There are ways to decrease the unpleasantries of the experience. But it happens to everyone, everywhere, in varying degrees.

Most experts believe that culture shock is experienced according to one’s preparation to the changes (experience and knowledge) as well as one’s perspective (open-mindedness, interest, or judgments) to the changes. Also, the effects of culture shock are affected by one’s awareness of culture shock itself.

There are four stages of culture shock including the honeymoon phase, the irritation-to-anger stage, the rejection of the culture stage, and the cultural adjustment phase.

The honeymoon stage includes a phase of bliss and excitement from experiencing new people and places. As a new immigrant, I had traveled to Israel countless times before I moved here. But the sense of exhilaration was undeniable during the first few months. Everyday life was an adventure. Using public transportation was a mission for the day, and getting lost was the thrill. Israeli’s can seem a bit tough and distant, but they will drop everything to help if you are lost or have a question. If I met Israeli’s on the street and they learned that I was a new immigrant, conversations were always incredibly encouraging and would always lead to how they can help with my transition.

Meeting Israeli’s was also exciting. They were always happy to speak English and never quick to judge my pathetic attempt at Hebrew. Conversations seemed more direct and free, without a code of behavior. Boundaries felt limitless and connections seemed solid, honest, and genuine.

The food was incredible. Fresh fruit and vegetables were a delight, especially because a cucumber tasted like a cucumber rather than rubber and the variety of fruit is endless. The dairy is phenomenal, especially the cottage cheese. The fresh Mediterranean diet was extraordinary.

Culturally, the combination of so many different cultures and religions living amongst each other is incredible. I could hear 10 different languages on the streets of Tel Aviv in a day. And in Jerusalem, I could see a fully covered Muslim women standing next to a Jewish women, buying the same groceries at the market. It was amazing to witness.

After a few months of bliss, I started to study Hebrew and look for a job. And then it hit me- “the irritation-to-anger stage”… Instead of viewing Israeli’s as nice and warm people, I found them aggressive and rude. Things seemed inefficient, unlike my well-organized and effective American way of life. I took the train every morning, which I used to think as an adventure and relaxing. But then I became annoyed and frustrated, feeling as if Israeli’s were worse than New Yorkers on the subway. People rushed to steal the only available seat, while I watched in rage and had to stand for the duration of the train. The train was no longer exciting, it was annoying!

I was learning Hebrew, but I was realizing how little I actually knew. The demands and expectations for me to be able to explain myself and understand Hebrew were increasing. So, I began to avoid situations where I needed Hebrew. I would make my husband answer the phone or go to the store. I didn’t want to be in big groups, where it was only Hebrew spoken. I am not normally the quiet one, but I became a good listener and observer (I actually became an expert on pretending to understand a conversation, when actually not understanding anything!). I became annoyed and avoided situations where I needed Hebrew.

After a few months of growing frustration, loneliness, and anxiousness the rejection stage began. I became incredibly frustrated and quite bitter- known as the rejection phase of culture shock. I no longer waited patiently for others to board the train and find their seats; I was throwing elbows and pushing people in order to get a seat. Why should they sit and I shouldn’t?

Driving in Israel is also an experience. It can be a bit dangerous if you are not accustomed to it. I found it exciting when I first began driving here, as it was unbelievable and surprising how people drove. However, after 6 months of dealing with Israeli’s on the road, I had enough. Using a turn signal is the law; however, it won’t get you anywhere. Most people won’t let you in and many people drive as if there is no one else on the road. It was shocking to see Israeli’s on the road, and eventually just appalling. And if the driving attitude isn’t enough, the endless traffic can put you over the edge. A fifteen minute drive can take over an hour. Another aspect for me to get annoyed about…

My negative attitude about Israel didn’t stop with the traffic and train problems. I found the food boring and limited. I found the people super imposing and aggressive. I was in the supermarket with my sister and her new baby. A woman came to us and gave us some advice about how to care for the baby. A few months before, I would have regarded this action as incredibly thoughtful and warm. However, at this point, I judged her as obnoxious and pushy asking my sister sarcastically, “Did we ask for advice?”

I found myself no longer trying to avoid situations, rather looking for situations to judge Israel culture differences and defend my own culture and habits.

And then FINALLY- the adjustment phase… This phase is actually about understanding and embracing the new culture. It is about adaptation between one’s previous lifestyle to one’s new culture.

For me, this phase occurred only when I was aware of my actual experience. When I could identify my withdrawal and my anger, I could choose to deal with it accordingly. I could get incredibly angry and become a jerk on the road, or I can take a breath, drive carefully, and get home when I get home. I can be thankful when there is a seat on the train and be patient when there is not.

I can identify aggression and avoid that behavior and appreciate other’s sincerity and concern. Most of all, I understand the bottom line- things are different- for good or for bad!

The process of Israel culture shock is dynamic and ongoing. What I struggled upon arrival will reappear. And my coping mechanisms will change as I change.

A few suggestions on how to deal with Israel culture shock:

• Educate yourself on Israel culture- read, watch movies, talk to people
• Focus on what is controllable- focus on yourself! We can’t change the whole world, but we can change our behavior and attitude
• Pick your battles- some situations are less significant than they seem. Focus your energy on what is significant!
• Ask for help- ask others who have been in your situations, who are currently in your situations
• Keep in touch with family and friends abroad- balance your “worlds” as they are both important
• Remember that all changes are learning experiences. Nothing is permanent and everything changes.

• More relationship oriented rather than rule oriented (openness and bluntness is priority), In a business environment and depending on the company, rules can be somewhat ambiguous and less structured
• More relationship oriented rather than an individualist approach
• Compared to other cultures, Israeli’s manner of speech and interpersonal relations are less formal; Israel is much less hierarchical than other cultures (easier access to top leadership)
• Expression of opinions is highly valued- Israeli’s can be more assertive and spontaneous about their point of views and opinions and can be considered “pushy,” conflict avoidance is less popular among Israelis in which they tend to confront differences in order to resolve them using direct communication styles

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