Expats Lifestyle - Are you Feeling Lost Abroad?

Imagine, you are at home deeply involved in some task or other, feeling at that moment happy and content with life. Your partner walks through the door and says with a smile:

"We need to talk about an exciting new opportunity that came up today"

The opportunity: a move abroad, perhaps for the first time or a new relocation/assignment option!

What would your initial reaction be?

I recall a range of reactions and emotions to a number of relocation options over the years! The last was four years ago when my partner suggested out of the blue a move to the island of Madeira, Portugal.

At this point we were living in the UK our home country having repatriated three years earlier. We had bought our own home, had had our first daughter and lived close to family. My initial reaction was not very positive! We had visited Madeira once on holiday. Whilst we had enjoyed our holiday as we left we both agreed that it probably wasn't really 'us'!

Overseas relocation decisions, and we have made a few in our time, need to be joint decisions. This is especially important for the trailing partner and research has demonstrated that where they feel they have had little input into the decision, adaptation and enjoyment of the expats lifestyle and the new life abroad is often problematic.

However feeling in control of the choice can be difficult especially when the possibility of a move abroad has been initiated from outside of the family, perhaps through an assigning organisation. It is easy for the perspective and opinions of others to be imposed on the family and partner. Ultimately this means that the partner accepts the move as 'just the way things are' with no real personal 'buy-in'.

Lack of personal 'buy-in' may mean a reduced sense of responsibility for making the overseas relocation a success resulting in poor adaptation.

It is important to invest time and effort into assessing the opportunity and its implications for all members of the family. Here are some ideas about where to start in this process.

1. Investigating the fit between the opportunity presented and your life/career/family goals and priorities. Take time to think through your life and career goals. Need some help in doing this then try the Wheel of Life Excercise.
2. Honesty is always the best policy: Talk it through and work to reach an understanding with your partner. If you hate the idea, NOW is the time to say so.
3. Consider and where appropriate involve the family. Is this the right move for the family; children or elderly parents. How much does having your extended family around and involved in your daily life mean to you?
4. What are your personal characteristics, strengths and skills. What personal characteristics and strengths do you possess that will help you to make the most of a relocation abroad andof the expats lifestyle? How well do you cope alone? How easy do you find it to make friends? How do you cope under pressure and in stressful situations?
5. What are your expectations regarding your possible expats lifestyle abroad. What are your expectations regarding accommodation, education if you have children, language acquisition, local culture, possibility for working or filling your time and creating a meaningful life for yourself? Write down your vision and then look for ways to check how realistic those expectations are.
6. How will you cope with the down days - there will be some! What personal resources can you draw on to get you through? What additional external support is available?
7. Research other peoples reactions to the proposed location. Contact host country nationals and expatriates already living there. Read about the country and ask yourself honestly do I think I can live there?

Did we move to Madeira? Yes we did and knowing the rational for our decision has certainly helped us through the rough/tough moments - yes there have been a few!

Feeling unsure about a relocation decision or somewhat lost abroad?

Louise Wiles; Success Abroad Coaching supports people relocating all over the world. Why not download her Free Report 'Six Move Abroad Challenges Most Expatriates Face and How to Overcome Them' and sign up for her monthly newsletter "Inspired Abroad" by going to www.SuccessAbroadCoaching.com.

Or contact Louise at: Louise (at) successabroadcoaching (dot)com