Culture Shock: Confusing and Baffling

by Stuart B
(Amsterdam)

When I first moved to Holland I quickly realized that being an expat in a foreign country meant any simple task had the potential to become confusing and baffling.

This was mainly because I was unfamiliar with the countries customs, traditions and its language. Normally these occurrences were small and easily sorted out.

However, every once in a while something so bizarre happened that I had to question weather it had really occurred. There is one such event which still puzzles me to this day. It was so strange that I had not even imagined that it might happen.

Try to imagine that you are strolling along a street one day, enjoying the weather when an enthusiastically happy looking girl catches your eye. She returns your gaze and approaches with a smile. When she is close enough for you to hear she starts to talk to you in Dutch. You smile back a little nervously and wonder what she is saying.

The language barrier might course a small amount of confusion but this does not really count as a bizarre situation yet. Imagine the scenario again but this time with a little more detail:

You are strolling along a shopping street one day, enjoying the weather when you notice a strangely enthusiastic girl being followed around by a camera crew. She notices you and suddenly runs towards you while grinning. When she is close enough to point her microphone at you she starts to say something in Dutch. You smile nervously into the camera and wonder what it is all about.

This would be more confusing but a camera crew on the street is still not a truly surreal event yet. Imagine the scenario once more, this time with all the details:

You are strolling along a busy shopping street one day, enjoying the weather when you suddenly see a strange girl being followed around by a camera crew while wearing a large fake rubber strap-on p... Despite your best attempts to avoid being seen she notices you and suddenly runs at you while her counterfeit member bounces up and down. When she is too close for comfort she suddenly thrusts the microphone into your face and shouts something in Dutch. You look nervously at her and wonder if you should run.

I explained I did not understand Dutch to which she replied, “Oh. Ok. Sorry to have bothered you,” and skipped off in search of another victim. What would you have done in the same situation?

Stuart

www.invadingholland.com